I have to admit that I felt a bit overwhelmed and kind of exposed with the blog before taking a bit of a hiatus these past few weeks. I've started to come to terms with the fact that I do, in fact, have a condition that will make the weight loss journey more difficult. It is partly the reason why my weight has always been such a struggle. It is also responsible for 35 years worth of "feminine problems", which have happily changed for the better since beginning this weight loss journey.
I can't even begin to describe the feelings of liberation in knowing that this is not all my fault, the unburdening myself of so much long-standing negative self-talk regarding my weight and other physical characteristics that are hallmarks of PCOS.
Having completed the 22-week program with BMI, I'm pleased to report that I've managed to lose 35 pounds in total - I'm now at a weight that I have not seen in about 8 years. I'm not as active as I was earlier in the program, but I have been very careful with my food intake and documenting that intake in my journal. I will continue with BMI's maintenance program for the next year - for as long as it takes for me to complete this journey. There's no mad rush or deadline for me to meet. It's about living my life, enjoying food and physical activity to the extent that I need to be happy. Weight loss is happening as a side effect, not as a specific goal.
I was going to take a picture of 35 pounds of butter yesterday, but oddly enough, the stores are in short supply at this festive time of year, so the picture will wait until the new year. However, I do have a picture of 27 pounds of butter and I can turn that into a picture of 35 pounds of butter.... like so:
Okay, okay, so it's a little distorted. But then again, so has my perception been a bit distorted where this weight loss journey is concerned. I wouldn't have considered 35 pounds to be a "huge" weight loss six months ago. I was so focused on The Big Picture, knowing how much I "should" weigh compared to what I actually weighed, that I would have considered this accomplishment to be a failure. As long as I'm making progress in the right direction, even in the face of setbacks and obstacles, I will consider the journey to be successful.