Today is the second day of my 2-week vacation from work.
I'm really going to focus on keeping track of my food intake and taking advantage of my free time to go for walks and go to my weight training classes. My record keeping for the past 8 months has been completely derailed, and I know that it's pretty much the root cause of my 13-lb weight gain since January.
I need to stop making excuses.
Yes, it's a real pain in the butt to have my notebook at work where I write down everything that goes into my mouth. It wasn't such an issue when I worked only the night shift, but I'm finding a huge shift in the workplace attitudes and culture during my day shifts now. My co-workers observe me and I feel very self-conscious about it. I hate feeling self-conscious and conspicuous. I don't understand why I feel this way, exactly - I really thought that I'd dealt with the part of my psyche that cared too much about what other people think - obviously there's still work to be done. I feel kind of embarrassed to have my snacks at work too, because it isn't part of the culture / work ethic at my job. I wonder how other people cope with having to have all meals and snacks at work, over a 12-hour shift.
There have been times where I've felt so awkward about having my snacks (after getting looks from colleagues that plainly read You're eating AGAIN?) that I have taken to sneaking a piece of cheese or a protein bar into my pocket and hiding in the washroom to eat my between-meal snack. How is that acceptable? How does that help to de-stigmatize obesity and support those of us who are trying to adopt strategies that actually work for us in our struggle to lose weight?
I'd love to hear how other people cope with this issue.
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3 comments:
Just catching up with your post today. Guess there are no diabetics on the shift. It's pretty judgmental of them since they're not in your shoes. Possible idea...do you have a tiny tape recorder that you could verbally record what you eat? The other other thing is to hide behind the 'excuse' of 'doctor's orders'. It's not a solution to your feelings, but you use the tool that works.
And yes, you need to get regular with your exercise, as do I.
Gillian
Hey, buddy. I'm sure you are my friend K, I know from Ottawa. Thank you for visiting my blog. I've thought of publicizing my own dietary struggles, but worried about the same things you do. I can go full-bore for a few months at a time, but there are setbacks. There are always setbacks. When I am in full weight/food watching mode, it becomes a sort of obsession. I check out what other people are eating and doing, quietly comparing their form with my own. This is the least attractive aspect of dieting. I would rather develop my soul than to obsess endlessly about my weight. I want food intake to become so routine that I barely think about it. Right now I am trying http://thecarrot.com , with mixed success. As for others watching and judging, I've had the opposite problem. Often I will forgo the dessert, punch, and snack tables at social events. Sometimes people have been deeply offended. I find myself justifying my choice with a quick public education announcement, concluding with "I'd love to try your delightfully tempting snack, but it would kill me."
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